Well now. Don’t I just looooove torturing myself over doing these things? Especially at these times? It’s become a per chant of mine. I wonder how this Insomnia is going to ravage at my quality of work, how just how much I decide to write before dropping dead in my chair. But enough with my little rambles and rants about my personal life (Well, I guess this is an insight into what a put myself through to get this out), I’ve got a movie to look at, and I’ve gotta write this up before I hit 4am or before I die of my butchered sleeping schedule. Guess who’s gonna end up paying for that. (Get those tissues ready Durant…)

Anyway, before I get myself sidetracked into a personal rant of sleeping, or something even more tedious than the aforementioned insomnia, as most of you can tell within my writing style, I like to do things LIVE as I write these, rather than have a nicely planned out script or plan. It gives me more creativity for when I’m under the clock and on the fly. But since I seriously considered writing a script of plan for what I’m about to review, here’s your death-wish for something PAINFUL. I’m talking Ghost Pepper with a lack of dairy products painful. Yeah. Because I’m going to be reviewing Hazbro’s “My Little Pony: Equestria Girls” movie. Don’t worry, I’ve already packaged my soul and emotions in a nice little bundled present for M.A Larson and Meghan Mccarthy, because there is absolutely no turning back from this. So, just Foodfight!, I’m going to begin with some number crunching. (AKA Yaaaaaaay.)

My Little Pony: Equestria Girls was a Canadian movie from 2013, which was a non-canonical spin-off and sort of a parody of High School Musical, because lets be honest here: Those 2 fit riiiiight together on the LEGO Movie upbeat musical intro flicks. However, it wasn’t until August 2013, that MLP:EG didn’t start showing up on DVD, and before on VERY limited cinema screens (I can guess why, and probably you can too). However, thankfully this movie is around an hour and 10 minutes, so hopefully it shouldn’t be too arduous and soul wrenching to watch right (No.)?

First, I’ll start having a go at it’s art style. Comparing MLP:EG and MLP:FIM, the art styles are actually quite similar, in terms of colour palettes used and the effect pack. If anything, the colour scheme is a little TOO vibrant. It’s the kind of the vibrant that you feel from eating salt and vinegar chips with skinless lips; The taste is appealing, but the aftermath is just plain out painful. Most of the colouring for the environments remind me of something you probably find drawn by a 7 year old with pastels; Too blendy and bleedy (Cutting-in-a-nutshell). It’s harmful to the eyes, like the previous statement. And just like the environment, the characters also get that kind of treatment as well. Although I will give some special exception to the “Mane-6” and other representations from MLP:FIM (You’ll know em’ when you seem them. Or you can just ask Miss Wright), but not as vibrant and chaotic as some other things though. Asides from a changing colour palette, I will say that the art team really did know what they were doing; Most of the colours they use are contrasting and complimenting and sometimes a nice blend of the 2, so its quite appealing to the true artistic aristocrats (If only they were a little but cooler but hey.), and slightly pleasing to the “normies”, something akin to seeing fireworks would be the accurate reaction.

Next up, we have the animation quality, and might I say it is something quite spectacular, and one of the very limited things that caught my attention to what was provided for me on screen. The least to say, is the animation is quite good at that; Some of the effect packs are pretty at best, having very smooth and sleek frames, with some fitting special effects to boot. I never thought I would see fiery spirit bomb transformation (That at least what it looked like) well animated to such an extent. It’s kinda like seeing a portion of quality from The Last Airbender (And NOT that fucking movie by Shyamalan mind you.). It’s something to gawk at, but not something to be inspired by. In terms of the character animations, once again a great amount of detail was paid attention. The movements of some of the characters is quite extraordinary: The movements seem fluent and natural, as if an actual person in a motion capture suit was doing them. Hell, even some of the detail paid attention goes so far as to making the main character shape her hands in the formation of pony hooves, a representation of her true nature (No spoilers here!), rather than having here someone become the same as a human over the course of a few hours in a High School.

Lastly, we have the genre. Okay, so as previously stated during the number crunching, this movie falls into the fine line of upbeat musical intros, and LEGO Movie (It’s a very similar line to the difference between kinky and perverted, but that’s for another day). It’s sometimes one, or the other and a little mix of the 2. And this is the thing I hate with a bloody, burning, salty passion about this. How many god damn songs there is. At least there aren’t as many in it’s sequel (And trust me, I don’t DREAM of touching THAT pile of flaming shit), but there are still a crap tonna songs nevertheless. It really does surprise with just how much my stereotypy goes berserk when listening to these, like GOD DAMN, my neck is probably going to snap or hit the person I’m sitting next to (Probably Miss Hopkinson would most likely be the first on the receiving end, whither I like it or not) in the face the next time it snaps, because it has become so loose over having to sit through this ear-rape. And yes, I know it’s just a song, but it’s a song so demonic and forbidden to my ear drums, it causes me a great deal of anxiety and frustration and frankly I could make a river of salt with how much leaks from my mouth as it edges to firing off the F-Bombs, but okay, I might as well chill the hell out, before I end up writing something reckless, and giving Mr.Durant a panic attack over his view on my emotional state, and besides, Is writing about slitting my arms with a thick chunk o’ glass gonna get away unnoticed? (Cheers Hopkins.)

Over the course of me writing this, I’ve lost all my enthusiasm to continue. I have also lost most of my insomnia, even though I’m writing this at 4am. I really don’t feel like writing an ending paragraph, so I’ll just say this: If you have a genuine, real concern for your mental health, don’t watch this. I’ve practically lost all will to continue watching this fetid spawn of satan and so will you. Please don’t watch this. And with that,  I shall end this off here. I need to try and find anymore loose pieces of my glass cup, which I knocked over during my viewing. I’ll also have to see if any got stuck in feet.